That's right, ladies and gentlemen, there is only one more shopping day until the CREATIVE SELFISHNESS workshop happens. You know, the one hosted by that imaginative partnership EBB, Ellen, Bill & Bill. If you haven't heard yet, please refer to the previous post here to get more details.
You might ask yourself why should I get up at or before the crack of dawn, make myself at least half way presentable, and show up at 7:30, yes AM?
Even though you didn't, I am going to pretend and say I'm glad you asked. Some would say February is not the cruelest month, but I disagree. If we were actually having winter this year we would be wondering if it would ever be over. But we're Chicagoans and we know we'll pay for the pass we've gotten so far and we'll be sorry. We're expert and knowing and waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Mardi Gras is over and unless you're one of those who relish the season of denial called Lent, the only thing to look forward to this month is more places offering pepper and egg sandwiches. If only more of them did it better.
But I digress.
On top of all that, V-Day was just last week, and who doesn't need some respite after that. That's the holiday during which it is almost impossible to win. Whatever your hopes and dreams of that event are, what are the chances of being hooked up with someone who sees it the same way as you? It's either much bigger or much smaller than yours. And how many of us can actually tell ourselves, let alone out partners, how we actually feel about it?
On the heels of this and the expectation of endless dreary days of the waning winter, we of EBB offer you the chance to see how to make the 364 1/4 other days of the year filled with much more of what you want, need, deserve, have earned and needed. And without compromising the hopes and dreams of your loved ones.
If you're just a little curious about what that might look like, come and see us in the morning.
You'll be glad you did.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Thursday, February 14, 2013
CREATIVE SELFISHNESS
Welcome to the Paeon blog, where we talk about big stuff. Today it's about a frequent topic in the world of 21st Century Americans: Getting Stuff Done. Or gettin' er dun. or some other version you may prefer.
Of course this is about the judgement that life will be better when all the shit on my do do list is scratched off and I can catch a breather. Truth is, the person making that list is YOU. The truth is, you have a reason for making that list the way you do and you might be unaware or merely clueless about what is driving you there.
Enter We Three Coaches. We call ourselves EBB because we too are added to whatever that's called when an abbreviation is made out of the...you know what I mean.
We have a 90 minute workshop coming up this next Tuesday, February 19th. We know you need to get stuff done and get to work and ll that so we scheduled it for 7:30AM. And we'll have you out at 9:00AM so you can go about practicing what you'll find out about yourself. And it'll be fun. Promise. That's because EBB doesn't take themselves too seriously. THe work we do it too important to weigh it down will sad faced and dour expressions. We have lives too and if we're down, it gets in our way.
Been there. Done that. Tired of it. Doing different!
Come for the fun and take away the lighter load you may be better able to carry. Have a laugh, maybe some coffee, maybe meet new people. Who knows?
One thing is for sure. You will walk away changed in some way. Not entirely, but in some way. We hope to see you there. Where? Here's the link.
http://www.eventbrite.com/event/5291823988/?ref=enivtefor001&utm_source=eb_email&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=inviteformalv2&utm_term=attend&ref=enivtefor001#
Sign up now. You won't be sorry.
E-Ellen Burton
B-Bill Campbell
B-Bill Flynn
Of course this is about the judgement that life will be better when all the shit on my do do list is scratched off and I can catch a breather. Truth is, the person making that list is YOU. The truth is, you have a reason for making that list the way you do and you might be unaware or merely clueless about what is driving you there.
Enter We Three Coaches. We call ourselves EBB because we too are added to whatever that's called when an abbreviation is made out of the...you know what I mean.
We have a 90 minute workshop coming up this next Tuesday, February 19th. We know you need to get stuff done and get to work and ll that so we scheduled it for 7:30AM. And we'll have you out at 9:00AM so you can go about practicing what you'll find out about yourself. And it'll be fun. Promise. That's because EBB doesn't take themselves too seriously. THe work we do it too important to weigh it down will sad faced and dour expressions. We have lives too and if we're down, it gets in our way.
Been there. Done that. Tired of it. Doing different!
Come for the fun and take away the lighter load you may be better able to carry. Have a laugh, maybe some coffee, maybe meet new people. Who knows?
One thing is for sure. You will walk away changed in some way. Not entirely, but in some way. We hope to see you there. Where? Here's the link.
http://www.eventbrite.com/event/5291823988/?ref=enivtefor001&utm_source=eb_email&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=inviteformalv2&utm_term=attend&ref=enivtefor001#
Sign up now. You won't be sorry.
E-Ellen Burton
B-Bill Campbell
B-Bill Flynn
Saturday, December 15, 2012
What now?
Oh, the suffering, the hand wringing the blaming. The outrage. The despair.
It's happened again; mass murder by someone who seems to fit better as a victim than a perpetrator.
How do we stop this? Can't we put an end to violence? It's these guns and these video games and bullying and the government needs to do something about it.
Perhaps there is another consideration. What if government it doing what we want them to do about it? After all, we are the government. It seems to me that as long as it's the problem of the we, then the I is helpless. After all, i'm only one person.
But what if the problem can only be solved by I action. That may be right or it may be wrong, but if the 60's gad any lesson for us at all, it might have been that people cannot trust the community to conform to our standards, that individually we have to assert what i believe in order to help others see the light.
That means that after I write my congressman, if I'm in the right kind of state or district where my rep doesn't agree with me already, then I need to go the next step. Government is deadlocked. We made it that way because we don't trust them to actually do the right thing. So I'm sorry to say, ,the next step is individual action.
My truth is that as a human I am continually experiencing what are referred to as negative emotions. They are usually represented this way because they make me feel bad, and I want to feel god. Isn't that what life is all about?
So the automatic reaction to something that makes me feel bad is to ignore it. So if I'm sad I do something that makes me feel happy, and if I'm mad I try to do something nice and if I'm afraid I pretend there's nothing to be afraid of. So I have a drink or play video games or have pointless, endless conversation with my friends about how to solve the problem, come to no solution I can do anything about, give up, go home and wonder why I can't sleep.
It's time to realize that technology has dealt us a mixed hand. Before machines and electricity we worked from dawn til dusk. Then we stopped long enough to eat, then collapsed into a hard earned sleep. Yes, that a huge over simplification. No apology.
Now I have considerable more time to think and feel that I had back then. I also have access to more information than ever---and lots of that information freaks me out. Or in plain English terrifies me. Further, I have no idea what to do with these feelings.
I'm beginning to get some clues, after all, the President can cry in public. That means if you're one of those lily-livered liberals you can cry and own your grief about an event you wish didn't happen. Or if your a so-called conservative you can claim outrage that anyone would want to do something about compromising this killers rights to own an automatic weapon, or have his mental illness be treated by the socialist state. Both of these are admission of powerlessness. Both of these require something to follow.
The lesson I take from this is that I need to own my feelings before I kill someone. Or before I bite the head off a co-worker because the bank issued a surcharge on my account that they said they wouldn't. Or my neighbor didn't clean up the mess on his fron lawn. Again. Powerless. Impotent. Vulnerable. Afraid. And someone has to pay.
How can I learn what to do?
I don't know what you should do, but I know what I have done and continue to do. I meet on a regular basis with people who are looking for the same thing I am looking for. How do I deal with these feelings with something other than outrage and denial.
This has been more than long enough. If you want to read more about this, come back tomorrow.
I cannot change the past, but I will contribue to the future, like it or not. What will I contribute, and how will I judge that contribution?
See you tomorrow.
Oh, the suffering, the hand wringing the blaming. The outrage. The despair.
It's happened again; mass murder by someone who seems to fit better as a victim than a perpetrator.
How do we stop this? Can't we put an end to violence? It's these guns and these video games and bullying and the government needs to do something about it.
Perhaps there is another consideration. What if government it doing what we want them to do about it? After all, we are the government. It seems to me that as long as it's the problem of the we, then the I is helpless. After all, i'm only one person.
But what if the problem can only be solved by I action. That may be right or it may be wrong, but if the 60's gad any lesson for us at all, it might have been that people cannot trust the community to conform to our standards, that individually we have to assert what i believe in order to help others see the light.
That means that after I write my congressman, if I'm in the right kind of state or district where my rep doesn't agree with me already, then I need to go the next step. Government is deadlocked. We made it that way because we don't trust them to actually do the right thing. So I'm sorry to say, ,the next step is individual action.
My truth is that as a human I am continually experiencing what are referred to as negative emotions. They are usually represented this way because they make me feel bad, and I want to feel god. Isn't that what life is all about?
So the automatic reaction to something that makes me feel bad is to ignore it. So if I'm sad I do something that makes me feel happy, and if I'm mad I try to do something nice and if I'm afraid I pretend there's nothing to be afraid of. So I have a drink or play video games or have pointless, endless conversation with my friends about how to solve the problem, come to no solution I can do anything about, give up, go home and wonder why I can't sleep.
It's time to realize that technology has dealt us a mixed hand. Before machines and electricity we worked from dawn til dusk. Then we stopped long enough to eat, then collapsed into a hard earned sleep. Yes, that a huge over simplification. No apology.
Now I have considerable more time to think and feel that I had back then. I also have access to more information than ever---and lots of that information freaks me out. Or in plain English terrifies me. Further, I have no idea what to do with these feelings.
I'm beginning to get some clues, after all, the President can cry in public. That means if you're one of those lily-livered liberals you can cry and own your grief about an event you wish didn't happen. Or if your a so-called conservative you can claim outrage that anyone would want to do something about compromising this killers rights to own an automatic weapon, or have his mental illness be treated by the socialist state. Both of these are admission of powerlessness. Both of these require something to follow.
The lesson I take from this is that I need to own my feelings before I kill someone. Or before I bite the head off a co-worker because the bank issued a surcharge on my account that they said they wouldn't. Or my neighbor didn't clean up the mess on his fron lawn. Again. Powerless. Impotent. Vulnerable. Afraid. And someone has to pay.
How can I learn what to do?
I don't know what you should do, but I know what I have done and continue to do. I meet on a regular basis with people who are looking for the same thing I am looking for. How do I deal with these feelings with something other than outrage and denial.
This has been more than long enough. If you want to read more about this, come back tomorrow.
I cannot change the past, but I will contribue to the future, like it or not. What will I contribute, and how will I judge that contribution?
See you tomorrow.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Narcissism, the Mirror thing again
I'm an "Old Guy" officially a Senior Citizen and a man of infinite opinion. That's as introduction to what's coming…a diatribe on what's wrong with America today. Let's harken back to those thrilling days of yesteryear when cowboys on white horses with white hats and teeth that sparkled rode in to solve all our problems. Usually to rescue the fair maiden.
Okay that's old movies and TV. It never was like that, but the fantasy attached to it lingers in our consciousness. It seems that I have this belief that I can find the answer to all I struggle with by getting the right answer. I am confusing entertainment with life. And it has taken me a long time to figure that out. Now we don't have that old hero model so much in front of us anymore, but we have one that seems to have replaced it. People in my age group and a little after grew up in this "Leave It To Beaver" world and we knew it wasn't our experience. I though it was the other kids who had those lives, but I have lived long enough to find out that isn't true. But it has been replaced with another. It's called New Age. The basis of this is "The Power Of Positive Thinking" which basically states that if I focus on the positive around me I will achieve positive results.
While this makes a certain amount of sense it fails by not including anyone else in my world, let alone that bigger world outside my direct contact. But of course there's no need to consider their thoughts or feelings because, after all I am just going for the positive. And that's good. Right? And as long as I remain positive and move in a positive direction for positive things then everyone will be happy. Right? And isn't that everyone's goal?
When I was younger I thought that everyone I liked believed and thought the same way I did. Well maybe they thought the same way, but they came up with surprisingly different conclusions than I did. This can mess with a young boy;s mind. Even a not so young boy. Everyone is subject to over generalization. Even me in this piece. But I know this about myself and I am constantly looking for and engaging with people of different approaches to situations than mine.
I know this doesn't make me a saint or anything like it. I hope what it does for me is keep me curious and teachable. It seems to me that so many of us have lots of education under our belts and think we know things that perhaps we don't. As I described above, we tend to think we know how others think or what's best for them. But the truth of that thinking is that it is just a defense against being found out.I don't want anyone to think I don't know. I have done this. And when I do, I have discovered I am a narcissist. I seem to have lots of company. Lots of people seem to have this behavior. As a professional coach I run into this all the time. People have a hard time seeing outside of themselves. This isn't some horrible dysfunction requiring institutionalization or anything like that. But it does require getting into it with other people. And ideally not just the people we are most intimate with. Our attitude about them is part of the problem. I want them to think I am the greatest. I want to be the man they want me to be. The trouble is I think that means perfect. If I'm actually perfect, how will they ever be able to be less than perfect with me. Which is what they know they are.
Hard as it is, I am ever on the lookout for the person in the mirror. When he looks too bright and shiny, I know the Narcissist is back and it's time for a reality check.
Okay that's old movies and TV. It never was like that, but the fantasy attached to it lingers in our consciousness. It seems that I have this belief that I can find the answer to all I struggle with by getting the right answer. I am confusing entertainment with life. And it has taken me a long time to figure that out. Now we don't have that old hero model so much in front of us anymore, but we have one that seems to have replaced it. People in my age group and a little after grew up in this "Leave It To Beaver" world and we knew it wasn't our experience. I though it was the other kids who had those lives, but I have lived long enough to find out that isn't true. But it has been replaced with another. It's called New Age. The basis of this is "The Power Of Positive Thinking" which basically states that if I focus on the positive around me I will achieve positive results.
While this makes a certain amount of sense it fails by not including anyone else in my world, let alone that bigger world outside my direct contact. But of course there's no need to consider their thoughts or feelings because, after all I am just going for the positive. And that's good. Right? And as long as I remain positive and move in a positive direction for positive things then everyone will be happy. Right? And isn't that everyone's goal?
When I was younger I thought that everyone I liked believed and thought the same way I did. Well maybe they thought the same way, but they came up with surprisingly different conclusions than I did. This can mess with a young boy;s mind. Even a not so young boy. Everyone is subject to over generalization. Even me in this piece. But I know this about myself and I am constantly looking for and engaging with people of different approaches to situations than mine.
I know this doesn't make me a saint or anything like it. I hope what it does for me is keep me curious and teachable. It seems to me that so many of us have lots of education under our belts and think we know things that perhaps we don't. As I described above, we tend to think we know how others think or what's best for them. But the truth of that thinking is that it is just a defense against being found out.I don't want anyone to think I don't know. I have done this. And when I do, I have discovered I am a narcissist. I seem to have lots of company. Lots of people seem to have this behavior. As a professional coach I run into this all the time. People have a hard time seeing outside of themselves. This isn't some horrible dysfunction requiring institutionalization or anything like that. But it does require getting into it with other people. And ideally not just the people we are most intimate with. Our attitude about them is part of the problem. I want them to think I am the greatest. I want to be the man they want me to be. The trouble is I think that means perfect. If I'm actually perfect, how will they ever be able to be less than perfect with me. Which is what they know they are.
Hard as it is, I am ever on the lookout for the person in the mirror. When he looks too bright and shiny, I know the Narcissist is back and it's time for a reality check.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Look in the mirror
Robert Steven Kaplan of the Harvard Business School has just published a book titled "What to Ask the Person in the Mirror: Critical Questions for Becoming a More Effective Leader and Reaching Your Potential"
We need to be clear about a couple of things at the outset. One is that I have not read the book. Another is that I am not saying this is a bad book or that what is suggested here is behavior we at Paeon are opposed to. This is an effort to look at a model which comes from a different perspective.
The issue here is that Leadership has always been seen as a personal competency, which is fine. I need to be and act as a Leader in my own life. It is important to engage my values in my behavior.
Here at Paeon, we want to look at Leadership as a group competency. As we continue to mature and as the machines we create help us change our relationship to work, our jobs are increasingly joined to the jobs of others and we function as collaborators much more of our time than in the past. In a way we are cogs in a machine just like we have always been, but the functions we perform are much less individual and complete. Further the function I perform doesn't necessarily complete something to be handed off to another worker like it does on an assembly line. Our collaborations are often ore complex than that.
So the actual functions of leadership are as much about give and take, communication and trust than at any time in the past. We are often engaged in work that is completely out of our hands for the moment, but rely on us in the next. And our collaborators may need our input at any time, then our disconnection. This requires that our Leadership is more about sharing than directing, more asking than telling, more stepping back than getting in front.
Let's look at Mr. Kaplan's four questions as a point of departure here. The first is, "Do I clearly articulate my vision and top priorities?" This is an excellent question in my opinion. It is also one that is best answered by others. When I ask these kinds of questions of myself, the deluded part of me gives me a BS answer. And, that is the very part of me I am trying to uncover with the question. So if I want the best results from the examination of me, I am well served to ask this question in company.
Mr. Kapla's second question is "Does the way I spend my time enable me to achieve my top priorities?" Now that I have examined my priorities and communication effectiveness in company, it seems they are the best people to help me understand if they see me using my time effectively in their eyes. And assuming these are the people I am working with, if there is a disagreement, who better to help me see the truth as it impacts others. It also allows them to get some insight into activities of mine that don't involve them or our mutual work directly. I think I want them to know I am not squandering my time at their expense, but spending it on other important activities. This is a perfect opportunity to check my actual priorities against the story I make up in my head to suit my agendas Both the conscious and the unconscious.
Question #3 is really two questions, " Do I give subordinates timely and direct feedback they can act on? Have I developed a succession roadmap?"
I don'tknow about anyone else, but I do not trust myself to answer this question honestly. Further, why wouldn't I want to ask the people I'm working with? Even if they're subordinates? If I couldn't ask them it would be because I don't trust them. If that's the case I need to ask myself how I can change that.
The last question for Mr. Kaplan is actually the best one for me to answer. And then check it out with my responses and my people. "Is my leadership style still effective, and does it reflect who I truly am?"
At this point I can readily ask myself if I am satisfied with the results of my Leadership? Are my goals and expectations being met? Are we making the progress I want us to make? When I ask myself how I am feeling about our work and the achievements that are happening, is the feeling Anger? Sadness? Fear? Joy? My answer is the answer I need to share with the team. And ask for their feedback. What do they see? How stisfied are they? What's next for them? What do they nee from me?
All these are worthy questions which will provide valuable answers if the team is willing to face them and learn their own truth.
Our judgement about Leadership and the practice in the workplace is there is too much emphasis on the individual and not enough on the team. The team isn't just for team meetings and beatings. The team is for everything, because the team is responsible. And probably quite capable. It can certainly always do things I can't do alone.
That's the Paeon view, how about you?
We need to be clear about a couple of things at the outset. One is that I have not read the book. Another is that I am not saying this is a bad book or that what is suggested here is behavior we at Paeon are opposed to. This is an effort to look at a model which comes from a different perspective.
The issue here is that Leadership has always been seen as a personal competency, which is fine. I need to be and act as a Leader in my own life. It is important to engage my values in my behavior.
Here at Paeon, we want to look at Leadership as a group competency. As we continue to mature and as the machines we create help us change our relationship to work, our jobs are increasingly joined to the jobs of others and we function as collaborators much more of our time than in the past. In a way we are cogs in a machine just like we have always been, but the functions we perform are much less individual and complete. Further the function I perform doesn't necessarily complete something to be handed off to another worker like it does on an assembly line. Our collaborations are often ore complex than that.
So the actual functions of leadership are as much about give and take, communication and trust than at any time in the past. We are often engaged in work that is completely out of our hands for the moment, but rely on us in the next. And our collaborators may need our input at any time, then our disconnection. This requires that our Leadership is more about sharing than directing, more asking than telling, more stepping back than getting in front.
Let's look at Mr. Kaplan's four questions as a point of departure here. The first is, "Do I clearly articulate my vision and top priorities?" This is an excellent question in my opinion. It is also one that is best answered by others. When I ask these kinds of questions of myself, the deluded part of me gives me a BS answer. And, that is the very part of me I am trying to uncover with the question. So if I want the best results from the examination of me, I am well served to ask this question in company.
Mr. Kapla's second question is "Does the way I spend my time enable me to achieve my top priorities?" Now that I have examined my priorities and communication effectiveness in company, it seems they are the best people to help me understand if they see me using my time effectively in their eyes. And assuming these are the people I am working with, if there is a disagreement, who better to help me see the truth as it impacts others. It also allows them to get some insight into activities of mine that don't involve them or our mutual work directly. I think I want them to know I am not squandering my time at their expense, but spending it on other important activities. This is a perfect opportunity to check my actual priorities against the story I make up in my head to suit my agendas Both the conscious and the unconscious.
Question #3 is really two questions, " Do I give subordinates timely and direct feedback they can act on? Have I developed a succession roadmap?"
I don'tknow about anyone else, but I do not trust myself to answer this question honestly. Further, why wouldn't I want to ask the people I'm working with? Even if they're subordinates? If I couldn't ask them it would be because I don't trust them. If that's the case I need to ask myself how I can change that.
The last question for Mr. Kaplan is actually the best one for me to answer. And then check it out with my responses and my people. "Is my leadership style still effective, and does it reflect who I truly am?"
At this point I can readily ask myself if I am satisfied with the results of my Leadership? Are my goals and expectations being met? Are we making the progress I want us to make? When I ask myself how I am feeling about our work and the achievements that are happening, is the feeling Anger? Sadness? Fear? Joy? My answer is the answer I need to share with the team. And ask for their feedback. What do they see? How stisfied are they? What's next for them? What do they nee from me?
All these are worthy questions which will provide valuable answers if the team is willing to face them and learn their own truth.
Our judgement about Leadership and the practice in the workplace is there is too much emphasis on the individual and not enough on the team. The team isn't just for team meetings and beatings. The team is for everything, because the team is responsible. And probably quite capable. It can certainly always do things I can't do alone.
That's the Paeon view, how about you?
Friday, May 20, 2011
Peony & Paeon
I have been pretty scattered this week and then today, Oriah Mountain Dreamer, author of "The Invitation" and other incredible thing posted a comment on the "Peonies" poem by Mary Oliver. I was planning to insert it into this post, but my grasp of the technology left me with a post of a link only. Sorry.
I quote the poem because it is beautiful and timeless. And so is the story of Paeon, the character from "The Iliad." As you probably know, "The Iliad" is one of the oldest and greatest stories about human conflict we have. It is the epic retelling of the Trojan War, actually a minor skirmish that took place around 1225 BCE between the Greeks, headed by Agamemnon and the Trojans whose prince, Paris, has stolen the Greek beauty Helen.
The tale is told as the struggle between heroes on either side, and the gods tht championed some of them against others. Paeon's role is as healer of the gods. Specifically he came to the aid of Ares, the god of conflict and Hades, the god of the underworld, or The Shadow. He did this with an extract from the peony, which is how he got his name. And how it is that we adopted the peony for our logo. Any of you who have received a business card from us have seen it.
We see the role of Paeon Partners as parallel to that of our namesake. The workplace is certainly the source of trial and struggle between people and these conflicts usually work out based on power. The person with the most power wins and the other(s) lose. Unfortunately this outcome may or may not serve the enterprise, which is the purpose for these people to be together in the first place.
We don't have any floral extracts or other potions to work with, we have coaching principles which always call for building two things: communication and trust. This is nothing simple or easy, and it takes time and commitment. But we believe that we can help find common ground and real community with each other when they stay focused on principles, without denying their feelings or judgements. We observe that most means of gaining skill at being good team members requires people to check the most fundamental parts of themselves at the door.
This is not a convenient or clean way to solve a problem. When I cut out the part of me I don't want, let's say my ego, the offensive (?) part of me may go but what goes with it? Probably the most creative and imaginative part of me. How else could I have created this overblown image I have of myself? And it's the same part of me that solves real problems and sees the path to clarity. My fellows need these things just as I need the offensive parts of them. Because that is how we are different. And how we add up to more than the sum of our numbers.
We think that the goal is to bring all parts of everyone into the room and give them the chance to be shown. Then they aren't hidden under some cover that slides away when the wind shifts and no one knows how to deal with it then.
We weren't taught to act this way. Therefore we don't know how and we don't trust it will work. Okay, tht's the truth. And we aren't afraid of it anymore. We have taken the risk to look at this way. And, as messy as it is, we have come to love the results.
What scary things have you tried that fooled you into seeing things in a new way?
I quote the poem because it is beautiful and timeless. And so is the story of Paeon, the character from "The Iliad." As you probably know, "The Iliad" is one of the oldest and greatest stories about human conflict we have. It is the epic retelling of the Trojan War, actually a minor skirmish that took place around 1225 BCE between the Greeks, headed by Agamemnon and the Trojans whose prince, Paris, has stolen the Greek beauty Helen.
The tale is told as the struggle between heroes on either side, and the gods tht championed some of them against others. Paeon's role is as healer of the gods. Specifically he came to the aid of Ares, the god of conflict and Hades, the god of the underworld, or The Shadow. He did this with an extract from the peony, which is how he got his name. And how it is that we adopted the peony for our logo. Any of you who have received a business card from us have seen it.
We see the role of Paeon Partners as parallel to that of our namesake. The workplace is certainly the source of trial and struggle between people and these conflicts usually work out based on power. The person with the most power wins and the other(s) lose. Unfortunately this outcome may or may not serve the enterprise, which is the purpose for these people to be together in the first place.
We don't have any floral extracts or other potions to work with, we have coaching principles which always call for building two things: communication and trust. This is nothing simple or easy, and it takes time and commitment. But we believe that we can help find common ground and real community with each other when they stay focused on principles, without denying their feelings or judgements. We observe that most means of gaining skill at being good team members requires people to check the most fundamental parts of themselves at the door.
This is not a convenient or clean way to solve a problem. When I cut out the part of me I don't want, let's say my ego, the offensive (?) part of me may go but what goes with it? Probably the most creative and imaginative part of me. How else could I have created this overblown image I have of myself? And it's the same part of me that solves real problems and sees the path to clarity. My fellows need these things just as I need the offensive parts of them. Because that is how we are different. And how we add up to more than the sum of our numbers.
We think that the goal is to bring all parts of everyone into the room and give them the chance to be shown. Then they aren't hidden under some cover that slides away when the wind shifts and no one knows how to deal with it then.
We weren't taught to act this way. Therefore we don't know how and we don't trust it will work. Okay, tht's the truth. And we aren't afraid of it anymore. We have taken the risk to look at this way. And, as messy as it is, we have come to love the results.
What scary things have you tried that fooled you into seeing things in a new way?
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