No i know better than that. When I was a kid my father always wanted me to change friends when I got into trouble. As though I wouldn't do anything like that on my own. Probably more about him than me.
I am sure you are quite capable of making friends. I am merely introducing you to something you already know. It's not a person, but a part of you. And remember we started with feeling, then moved on to one of them: Fear. From there we ambled into Courage and Denial. We left off with needing that Courage to overcome the Fear I met after I broke down the wall of Denial that blinded me to my impediment.
We talked about needing to be friends with that Fear thing so I knew the difference between fear for my life and something much less threatening, like stopping for a red light. I need to have a relationship with my Fear that isn't reactionary, but responsive.
Okay, now we're all up to date.
So that part of you that has courageously broken through the blindness of Denial is now facing a new form of blindness: Resistance. If you're anything like me Resistance is something making you look like being blindly stubborn or frivolously unconcerned about anything. For me this is just the lack of getting to know and appreciate my Resistance. If I want to be my friend I evaluate the thing I might be resistant to and ask myself if my resistance comes from an awareness of the thing being something I don't want to do, or if it's something I don't want to look at. Because I'm afraid.
Yes, I know we already dealt with Fear. I perhaps led you to believe it was gone, dealt with.
No such luck. The Fear that we dealt with was necessary to get to this fear. Bu remember, Fear is now your friend. You've made a relationship with it that allows for conversation and maybe even negotiation. Which is where we are at this point, negotiation. One a person becomes aware of a Resistance point the next thing is the negotiation part. I think the negotiation can be broken down into four components: Information, Analysis, Reaction/Response, Decision.
I assert that when we have stepped through this process, a sound decision will be able to be made by you. One you can live with and both learn and prosper from, almost ending with a preposition.
Each of these deserves its own space, so we'll take up the Information piece tomorrow.
C'mon back. The fun is just beginning.
2 comments:
I run from fear and use resistance as an excuse not to try something new. I appreciate the idea of fear and resistance as "friends". Maybe I can slow down long enough when I feel their presence to ask these two "Hey, what's all the yelling about?" Then, I can make a new choice and work toward a life and career I actually WANT. This is my first blog ever, so the idea seems to be working.
Am I crazy or are you saying. Don't just name it and claim it, but take action to change it before you dump it so it does not rear its ugly head again?
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