Tired Of Self Help Books?

Isn't everyone? I'll never forget a friend of mine telling me he finally got to the point where he had to retire all his self-help books. And no wonder. It's almost as hard to see the progress as it is to admit you don't want to or can't make your life any better.

I caught a post last week from Joanna Cabot about the very subject of these tomes cramming so many of our bookshelves. See it here:
http://www.teleread.com/reading-2/the-value-or-not-of-self-help-books/?utm_content=buffer14266&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

She makes some interesting points about the so-called help in the books. Lots of times things work for individuals, but that's no reason to believe the advice can be generalized. She make interesting points and I pretty much agree with her.

Here's what I think is missing in all the self-help stuff. Let's say one finds a book that speaks to them and really defines the problem for that reader. Next, they consider the advice and begin to implement the changes, which are based on the idea that the person is now aware of how they are standing in their own way.

I don't know how often you have done this and found yourself unsatisfied months later as you peruse the shelves (or web pages) for another, better book; but it has happened to me too often. How come? What's missing here? The author is plenty successful, why aren't I?

The answer is surprisingly simple. First, a large part of their success is that they are selling their book. To me. They have some of my money. But in a more important context, my success has nothing to do with theirs. I am comparing myself to my judgment of them. And they must be successful because I bought their book. But really there is another thing going on here.

I need to not only be aware of what is on my way, but what needs to be different for me to recognize success. How often have I told myself I'm doing better today or this week? And how often when I have done that have a determined what is substantially different? If everything I am doing is really the same but I think I'm doing it better, what are the chances I'm just telling myself that? In my case they are high. That is also the case with many of the clients I have worked with over the last 18 years.

The solution to my stuckness is at least two part. Firat I become aware that I am stuck, and second that I change the way I do some thing or things. Then I need to observe the results. And if I can identify what's different and how it's not better but different, then I'm on the road.

But even that's not all. What's different needs to be judged as well. Is it different better, or different worse or different different? When I make that determination, then I can take a look at what's next. Is it more of the ame, less of the same or just stay the course for now. With my eyes and ears wide open.

This is another ideal situation in which a coach is ones best ally. The coach will hold your objectives when you lose sight ot forget. And your coach will be able to tell you when what you're doing is different instead of better.

Hire a coach and change the quality of your life. We at Paeon, are here to be your ally on the journey.

773-817-6700