Welcome to the Paeon blog. We at Paeon are here to articulate our experiences in the world of Coaching and focus on the idea of Greatness as we say on our Home Page www.paeonpartners.com.
Please be aware that it may appear that I think I know everything. If you see that it is because you are paying attention. That doesn't make it true. We (David and I) will be putting out our experiences and ideas here and hope you will contribute to the conversation.
For now I'd like to start out by talking about power. While I am most specifically interested in Personal Power, it is important for me to see how many situations are power based. While war is the most obvious, it is just the biggest, most obvious example. I'll say more about that later, but today I want to mention what I have been talking to my clients about lately with regard to their Personal Power.
As a human being I have power. It is not a choice, it is merely a fact. And there are three things I can do with this power. I can give it away so that someone else has it. This takes me out of my life, except to be a Victim. I capitalize that because it is an archetypical Victim. I am not making the decisions in my life, someone else is.
Alternatively I may use my power against someone else. I am not referring to self protection here, I am talking about using my power to intentionally hurt someone else. And finally I may use my power for my own benefit.
It is important to recognize that when I use my power to benefit myself, it serves me. And it also serves the people closest to me: my loved ones, friends, co-workers, because these are the people who benefit most from my being powerful. The reasons we are close is because we carry common cause, we are interested in the same things, want the same kinds of outcomes. The people closest want me to make my decisions. And I want the people closest to me to make their own decisions. That way we are living in a world of our making, not a world of someone else's making.
This may sound like everyone gets their own way. Not likely. What it really means is that I make my decisions first without knowing what someone else's decision might be. When they hear of my decision, they get to ask if I have considered a concern of theirs. At that point the negotiation begins to take place. If we both tell out truth, and if we both listen with curiosity and interest, we wind up with the way we want.
One of the powers of relationships is that they create an opportunity to see the world as a bigger place than we can see alone. They also create the possibility to get beyond the space of our own imaginations.
Next time, we'll talk about the various levels of listening in an effort to make our negotiating more powerful and rewarding.
Bill (and David), this is a great topic. Timely because lately I am in an more fragile emotional place (and aware of what the trigger is and doing some inner grief work). In this time, I am giving away my power more than usual (smile).
So, I am curious to ask your opinion on ways to take that awareness and make a shift to reclaim my power. I can say the words and focus on what I know to be true, beliefs you would say, "This is not about me. Don't take this personally." And ask my Self, What do you need? Any other suggestions?
The MKP Georgia board is creating a mentor council with formal training for mentors. What do you see as the differemnce between mentoring a man and coaching him?
Greetings Gentlemen and readers! Personal Power: one of my many favorite topics. I talked about it in my recent talk at CCF in regard to our use of "free time"... I introduced the notion (my belief) that we have 168 hours of free time per week...that it is ALL free time, we get to choose. I hear people talk about "time" often; we made it up AND many people give their power up to it.
I commend your focus, especially in regard to relationships. Your statement: "If we both tell out truth, and if we both listen with curiosity and interest, we wind up with the way we want." rings true to my heart and soul. It is the knowing of ourselves AND willingness to embrace our truth where the beauty of the sharing begins. Great work gentlemen!
Frank, What a great question. For us, mentoring is a process which comes from some place of knowing by personal experience. If someone would ask me for help in becoming a better sales person, I could mentor him/her based on my experience in the field. If I were to coach a person in that area,I would be asking them about what they are facing (or afraid they will face) and what might be in their way. If a person doesn't need technical information, then we believe coaching is actually more powerful. But, if you haven't been taught how to do it, and haven't practiced it in real life, don't assume you can do it. A good coach can teach a lot to someone who want s to learn.
Dear Gail, Thank you for you post and for your question. As we have known each other for some time you know the answer to your question will be a different question. The attempt for us is rather than thinking we have some new and pwerful information for you, to trust you have the most powerful and useful information in you already. So the question is, What are you trying to achieve by giving away your power now?
Welcome to our blog (home page www.paeonpartners.com) At Paeon we seek to articulate our experiences in the world of Coaching with a focus on the idea of Greatness.
While it may appear that we think we know something, that doesn't make it true. We (Bill and David) will be putting out our experiences, projections and judgments here and hope you will do the same in order to contribute to the conversation.
Let’s start with power. While I am particularly interested in Personal Power, it is important to see just how many situations are actually power based.
As a human being I have power. It is not good or bad, it is merely a fact. And there are three things I can do with this power: I can give it away, use it on or “against” someone else or use it “for” myself” so that someone else has it. The first makes me a victim, the second makes me a perpetrator, the only the third actually benefits me! And if I am powerful then I can be of service to people close to me: my loved ones, friends, co-workers. These are the people who benefit most from my being powerful.
They may benefit directly but they also benefit indirectly because, being “close” we carry common cause; that is we are interested in the same things, want the many of the same kinds of outcomes. The people closest want me to make my own decisions. And I want the people closest to me to make their own decisions. That way we are living in a world of our own making, not a world of someone else's making.
Does everyone gets their own way ? Not likely. I make my decisions without knowing what someone else's decision might be. When they know my decision, they can express – or ask if I have considered – a concern of theirs. At that point the negotiation, interaction; if we both tell out truth and both listen with curiosity and interest then we can reach an outcome which serves us both – and what we are both committed to.
The power of our relationship is that its create the opportunity to see the world as a larger place than we each can see alone. It also magnifies our power to effect it: to create a world of our own making. My relationship with also keeps me out of my our fantasy world, the world inside my own head. It draws me out into the real world between us.
So… how do I listen with curiosity and interest ? How do I make my relationships powerful for both of us? That is for next time. We hope you will come back…..
Bill- Thank you for your invite to the Paeon Blog. The discussion on personal power is relevant for me. Your reply to Gail got me thinking about my own relinquishment of my power which I know is contributing significantly to my current state of mind.
10 comments:
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Welcome to the Paeon blog. We at Paeon are here to articulate our experiences in the world of Coaching and focus on the idea of Greatness as we say on our Home Page www.paeonpartners.com.
Please be aware that it may appear that I think I know everything. If you see that it is because you are paying attention. That doesn't make it true. We (David and I) will be putting out our experiences and ideas here and hope you will contribute to the conversation.
For now I'd like to start out by talking about power. While I am most specifically interested in Personal Power, it is important for me to see how many situations are power based. While war is the most obvious, it is just the biggest, most obvious example. I'll say more about that later, but today I want to mention what I have been talking to my clients about lately with regard to their Personal Power.
As a human being I have power. It is not a choice, it is merely a fact. And there are three things I can do with this power. I can give it away so that someone else has it. This takes me out of my life, except to be a Victim. I capitalize that because it is an archetypical Victim. I am not making the decisions in my life, someone else is.
Alternatively I may use my power against someone else. I am not referring to self protection here, I am talking about using my power to intentionally hurt someone else. And finally I may use my power for my own benefit.
It is important to recognize that when I use my power to benefit myself, it serves me. And it also serves the people closest to me: my loved ones, friends, co-workers, because these are the people who benefit most from my being powerful. The reasons we are close is because we carry common cause, we are interested in the same things, want the same kinds of outcomes. The people closest want me to make my decisions. And I want the people closest to me to make their own decisions. That way we are living in a world of our making, not a world of someone else's making.
This may sound like everyone gets their own way. Not likely. What it really means is that I make my decisions first without knowing what someone else's decision might be. When they hear of my decision, they get to ask if I have considered a concern of theirs. At that point the negotiation begins to take place. If we both tell out truth, and if we both listen with curiosity and interest, we wind up with the way we want.
One of the powers of relationships is that they create an opportunity to see the world as a bigger place than we can see alone. They also create the possibility to get beyond the space of our own imaginations.
Next time, we'll talk about the various levels of listening in an effort to make our negotiating more powerful and rewarding.
Hey guys!
I think it's great you've got this blog going, and look forward to watching and participating as it grows!
Bill (and David), this is a great topic. Timely because lately I am in an more fragile emotional place (and aware of what the trigger is and doing some inner grief work). In this time, I am giving away my power more than usual (smile).
So, I am curious to ask your opinion on ways to take that awareness and make a shift to reclaim my power. I can say the words and focus on what I know to be true, beliefs you would say, "This is not about me. Don't take this personally." And ask my Self, What do you need? Any other suggestions?
The MKP Georgia board is creating a mentor council with formal training for mentors. What do you see as the differemnce between mentoring a man and coaching him?
Greetings Gentlemen and readers!
Personal Power: one of my many favorite topics. I talked about it in my recent talk at CCF in regard to our use of "free time"... I introduced the notion (my belief) that we have 168 hours of free time per week...that it is ALL free time, we get to choose. I hear people talk about "time" often; we made it up AND many people give their power up to it.
I commend your focus, especially in regard to relationships. Your statement: "If we both tell out truth, and if we both listen with curiosity and interest, we wind up with the way we want." rings true to my heart and soul. It is the knowing of ourselves AND willingness to embrace our truth where the beauty of the sharing begins.
Great work gentlemen!
Jim Accetta, www.trulyhumancoaching.com
Frank, What a great question. For us, mentoring is a process which comes from some place of knowing by personal experience. If someone would ask me for help in becoming a better sales person, I could mentor him/her based on my experience in the field.
If I were to coach a person in that area,I would be asking them about what they are facing (or afraid they will face) and what might be in their way.
If a person doesn't need technical information, then we believe coaching is actually more powerful. But, if you haven't been taught how to do it, and haven't practiced it in real life, don't assume you can do it. A good coach can teach a lot to someone who want s to learn.
Dear Gail, Thank you for you post and for your question. As we have known each other for some time you know the answer to your question will be a different question. The attempt for us is rather than thinking we have some new and pwerful information for you, to trust you have the most powerful and useful information in you already.
So the question is, What are you trying to achieve by giving away your power now?
Paeon Blog
Welcome to our blog (home page www.paeonpartners.com) At Paeon we seek to articulate our experiences in the world of Coaching with a focus on the idea of Greatness.
While it may appear that we think we know something, that doesn't make it true. We (Bill and David) will be putting out our experiences, projections and judgments here and hope you will do the same in order to contribute to the conversation.
Let’s start with power. While I am particularly interested in Personal Power, it is important to see just how many situations are actually power based.
As a human being I have power. It is not good or bad, it is merely a fact. And there are three things I can do with this power: I can give it away, use it on or “against” someone else or use it “for” myself” so that someone else has it. The first makes me a victim, the second makes me a perpetrator, the only the third actually benefits me! And if I am powerful then I can be of service to people close to me: my loved ones, friends, co-workers. These are the people who benefit most from my being powerful.
They may benefit directly but they also benefit indirectly because, being “close” we carry common cause; that is we are interested in the same things, want the many of the same kinds of outcomes. The people closest want me to make my own decisions. And I want the people closest to me to make their own decisions. That way we are living in a world of our own making, not a world of someone else's making.
Does everyone gets their own way ? Not likely. I make my decisions without knowing what someone else's decision might be. When they know my decision, they can express – or ask if I have considered – a concern of theirs. At that point the negotiation, interaction; if we both tell out truth and both listen with curiosity and interest then we can reach an outcome which serves us both – and what we are both committed to.
The power of our relationship is that its create the opportunity to see the world as a larger place than we each can see alone. It also magnifies our power to effect it: to create a world of our own making. My relationship with also keeps me out of my our fantasy world, the world inside my own head. It draws me out into the real world between us.
So… how do I listen with curiosity and interest ? How do I make my relationships powerful for both of us? That is for next time. We hope you will come back…..
Thank you for your attention, be powerful.
Bill and David
Bill-
Thank you for your invite to the Paeon Blog. The discussion on personal power is relevant for me. Your reply to Gail got me thinking about my own relinquishment of my power which I know is contributing significantly to my current state of mind.
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