Meet your new best friend, COURAGE

This isn’t a stranger to you, just a better friend than you’ve known. This is the friend that helped you make all those decisions, both hard and not-so-hard. Whether you were choosing a college, asking for a date or having a child, it was courage that was there, by your side, helping you move forward. Or not. Either way it was a decision. And that decision caused you to confront yourself, your expectations, your hopes, your fears. You may have told yourself you weighed all the pluses and minuses and came up with a rational decision but research tells us that the decision was likely to have been made and the logical augment merely justifies that decision.

We have two invitations for you to see how you can embrace your Courage in a more intentional way, to put it to use for you in your every day life. The first is an introductory session to the practice of connecting to your Courage. And to make it easier, we are offering two different sessions to choose from, both free of charge.

Our decades of coaching and our individual life experience has helped us to see the power of the unconscious in our lives and the lives of our clients. Connecting to that part is really valuable to leading a life that is better at serving us. And the better it serves us, the better we serve the people who are important to us.

Choose Thursday, May 15 from 7:30 to 9:00AM At the 360 Cafe, 20 E. Chestnut in the city. The second will be Saturday, June 7 from 9:00 to 10:30 at the same location.

Both of these will be the same with the exception that the group will have different participants. Both will be entertaining, fun, informative and challenging. If you’re curious, and I know you are, call and sign up for one of these sessions.

But that’s only the first offering. The second will be day long workshop where the concepts and ideas explored in the first session will be expanded, deepened and anchored in you, so that you will have something you can hang onto and use in a more powerful way. Day and date will be established after these two sessions. Most likely it will be on a Saturday in June.

We look forward to joining you on this adventure. See you soon.

You’ll be glad you did.

Bill Campbell

Bill Flynn

Sign up at 773-817-6700

Leadership and Time Management

You are probably not surprised to hear I am not a fan of Steven Covey or any of his or his outfit's stuff. Except for one.

The one is what I learned as the Xerox Time Management system back in the early '70s. Yes, 40 years ago. The basis is a simple matrix of two elements and their opposites: Importance and Urgency. While I try not to teach my clients, I have suggested this to many clients over the years. I have even used it myself.

The deal is that one assigns all tasks to a quadrant of the matrix i.e. Important/Urgent, Important/notUrgent, not/Important/Urgent, notImportant/notUrgent.

The automatic reaction for most of us is to assign things incorrectly, but when one realizes the I/U category requires more time than there is to accomplish it all something important arises. The need to renegotiate.  This is the area many employees are weak. The first instinct is to think what is required is the impossible.

The appropriate action here is communication and teamwork. There are also valuable lessons in each of the spaces, but that requires a little more time and space than we have here. Call or write if you're interested in the details. But the important point to our discussion of Leadership is that the Leader in this case can use this tool as a means to foster communication and collaboration without taking a heavy hand. What if this matrix was used by the group as well as the individuals? What if group discussions were based on this model, which assumes the likelihood of changes in deadlines and importance? What if plans were based on a fluid system much more closely related to the way things unfold over time?

This becomes a tool of empowerment, rather than just another way to get the followers to conform to expectations. This is a tool than helps them work together. This helps the group be more responsive and involved in the decisions that rule their lives.

That sound like Leadership to me.

I raise this because something came across my Twitter feed this morning that reminded me of this. Someone was referring to their overwhelming to-do list and referred to this article from Business Insiderhttp://www.businessinsider.com/simple-math-could-fix-your-to-do-list-2014-3

It takes exactly the same concept I described above and turns it into a mathematical expression. So instead of creating an opportunity for collaboration and cooperation, it becomes a way to order the to-do list in a better way, relative to priorities. I don't claim to know what will work better for any individual, but I do know that a Leadership tool is more valuable to me than another way to see myself as swamped. With the numbers to prove it.

I take this as another way to see Leadership as a Group capability and trait.

Why Leaders Lose Their Way

Remember Bill George? I introduced him in a recent post. He;s really a good one on my book. I hope you get to know him too.

I suppose I like him because he really does a great job of selling the need for coaching in a way that certainly surpasses mone. Also, he's not a coach, but an educator and retired senior exec. The article I want to talk about today is Bill's contribution to the weekly Harvard Business Review. While the article is from June of 2011, it is still one of the most popular reads on their site. Here it is:
http://hbswk.hbs.edu/item/6741.html

We all know that the oldest sin as told in the Bible is Pride. Actually, it's hubris which is excessive Pride. It is also the central theme in Gilgamesh, the oldest book in the Western culture. The reason I mention this is that Mr. George's column refers to this flaw existing in all of us as the most likely cause of a successful leader's downfall.

As I wrote yesterday, choices and behaviors are driven by beliefs, and hubris is a belief. It is false and an inflated view but a belief none the less. The power and adulation that comes with authority, responsibility, title, success and all other things projected on leaders make them constantly targeted by people and situations that may tempt them to be distracted from the person that got them to the point they've arrived at.

Again, the great power of coaching is that it is continually presenting a challenge to the leader to be in touch with the person they actually are, to be in touch with the things that are actually important to them. Coaching focuses the power of the person into themselves so that they can continue to be true to themselves and their values.

If you want to use your own power best, you want a coach in your corner.

When you decide this is for you, we will be here.

Incentives?

In the last post I wrote about Positive Thinking and how it is likely to work against instead in favor of one reaching their objectives. Just as I finished that post I ran across an article by Bill George, former chairman of Medtronic, a medical equipment company in the Twin Cities. He is now a professor at Harvard Biz and a guy who thinks deeply and communicates directly. Here is the article that caught my eye. Bill cited it in his latest Tweet and it comes from Drake Baer writing in Inc, It appears on their website here
http://www.inc.com/drake-baer/why-incentives-dont-actually-motivate-people-to-do-better-work.html

Bill has been advocating the idea of Engagement with regard to employees. He has spoken and written about what it means and how it works. Check him out and see if you like him as much as I do.

And let me say how this is supported by coaching.

The process of coaching is one of supporting the client to become more and more who the person actually is. We have all been in situations where we try to perform up to expectations of superiors. It begins with mom and dad, continues through school and on to adult life with spouses and bosses. The more closely aligned we are naturally with those in authority, the better we get along and often the more successful we are in our lives. The question that arises is whether our compliance or non is really about us.

After almost 20 years as a professional coach I can attest that most of the people I have worked with are not in complete sync with those above them in their lives. The one constant, however is that sooner or later the actual person comes out. Or goes off the rails emotionally because they can't keep faking and can't change. These difficult situations arise when a conflict rises inside the individual and that person tries to live on with the unresolved conflict. In this context it's easy to see the problem.

So the coach knows the client is creative, resourceful and whole and trusts the client to have everything they need to gain their success. As they describe it. All that's needed is clarity.  The embedded conflict causes stasis. When one believes things that cannot coexist, their activity is stalled when the conflict arises. The coach is always challenging the client to be aware of and aligned with their beliefs. If the client can't do that, independent activity is impossible.

So if you want to know why Engagement is so important, it is all about alignment between the organization and the customer, the boss and the employee, between all the participants. This requires communication and agreement. It also guarantees the worker can be successful.

How cool is that?

Check out the myth that is widely believed about incentives.

Remember Norman Vincent Peale?

The author of The Power Of Positive Thinking from the fifties was a New York Methodist minister, author and celebrity of his day. He espoused the idea that thinking positive thoughts was all someone needed (other than faith) to achieve all their hopes and aspirations. His lay evangelism gave rise to Zig Zeigler, Tony Robbins and all the other proponents of motivational evangelism.

This may sound harsh but truth is that positive thinking is crap. I know, I know. I'm the guy who poo-poos everything. I can't argue with that, because I learned from good ones.

But what if we get past the pre judgment? What if we look at the data? What if we call the data results? Because results are the outcome of an act or choice or series of them. This is what actually happens in one's life. That's the stuff that tells the tale. The data is for research. Life is for living.

Here's a link to a New Yorker on the subject by Adam Alter in the February 19 issue this year. http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/currency/2014/02/the-powerlessness-of-positive-thinking.html?utm_source=tny&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=dailyemail&mbid=nl_Daily%20(121)

This is really worth reading because it looks at some very popular references, unlike mine looking back over 50 years. He starts with "The Secret" and moves on to discuss things that have happened to real people. He describes the way being positive is helpful and more importantly how it is hurtful. He describes positive thinking as an attempt to control events that are beyond our control. Let's face it, if I'm not doing it I am not in control. No matter how manipulative I am, sooner or later I will run into situations which happen without regard to me. And some of these situations have serious consequences for me.

Check out the article and then come back as we explore this territory some more.

Making Training ork

Those of you who know me are aware that I am a skeptic when it comes to training on the job. I'm not referring to job skill or activity training, since nearly all people need some training to merely integrate into a new job. What I',m talking about is the kind of training an organization engages in to create a substantive change in the enterprise. Whether it's a new initiative or a cultural change or a reorganization these trainings are often see as failures. Here's an excerpt from an email I just got from the fine people at Gallup. You may know them from their famous polling activities, but they use their skill in this area to develop insights they can use to sell their training and development programs. You are probably aware of some of their initiatives. Employee engagement is one of theirs. This measures something beyond job performance. It measures how much people are committed ti the enterprise and its stated intentions. It can be very powerful. It can also be seriously misused. If you care to read the article you may find it here:
http://businessjournal.gallup.com/content/167753/training-catalyst-real-change.aspx?utm_source=alert&utm_medium=monthly&utm_content=morelink&utm_campaign=syndication

But of course I am not here to support Gallup, I'm here to promote the values and principles of Paeon Partners and our coaching practice. So, here's where we fit in this picture. As experienced and powerful facilitators we are quite capable of delivering the type of training program discussed above. In addition to that, the Gallup article refers to the fact that such programs fail in the eyes of management and the employees as well for really one reason.

The is no commitment to integration.

No I'm not referring to anything other than integrating the power, content and intention of the training. We all have customary behaviors and habits. These are activities we have engaged on over time that become repetitive and often thoughtless. In order to change any of these, people need to be aware of the thoughtlessness of the old behavior. But awareness is not enough. As I wrote in the last ost on self help books, awareness is not enough. There also needs to be a plan to change and an ability to observe the results.

Gallup refers to the value of the trainings in question diminishing over time primarily because the messages and intentions of the training is not reinforced. Or integrated if you will. This lack of integration in our experience comes from a lack of powerful communication, which undermines trust among workers. We live in a society where trust is scarce and fesr is abundant. There are lots of reasons for it but the reasons don't matter to the fact that trust is in short supply and that can be changed.

In the case of the training that is taking such a beating here, better results are attainable with surprisingly little effort. But it can't happen without a bit of fundamental change.

We at Paeon have powerful and effective tools available to improve communication and deepen trust. And these can be implemented without either excessive time commitment or onerous cost. Let us help you deliver and or integrate your next initiative. A brief conversation will allow you to see how it can work for you.

773-817-6700

Tired Of Self Help Books?

Isn't everyone? I'll never forget a friend of mine telling me he finally got to the point where he had to retire all his self-help books. And no wonder. It's almost as hard to see the progress as it is to admit you don't want to or can't make your life any better.

I caught a post last week from Joanna Cabot about the very subject of these tomes cramming so many of our bookshelves. See it here:
http://www.teleread.com/reading-2/the-value-or-not-of-self-help-books/?utm_content=buffer14266&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

She makes some interesting points about the so-called help in the books. Lots of times things work for individuals, but that's no reason to believe the advice can be generalized. She make interesting points and I pretty much agree with her.

Here's what I think is missing in all the self-help stuff. Let's say one finds a book that speaks to them and really defines the problem for that reader. Next, they consider the advice and begin to implement the changes, which are based on the idea that the person is now aware of how they are standing in their own way.

I don't know how often you have done this and found yourself unsatisfied months later as you peruse the shelves (or web pages) for another, better book; but it has happened to me too often. How come? What's missing here? The author is plenty successful, why aren't I?

The answer is surprisingly simple. First, a large part of their success is that they are selling their book. To me. They have some of my money. But in a more important context, my success has nothing to do with theirs. I am comparing myself to my judgment of them. And they must be successful because I bought their book. But really there is another thing going on here.

I need to not only be aware of what is on my way, but what needs to be different for me to recognize success. How often have I told myself I'm doing better today or this week? And how often when I have done that have a determined what is substantially different? If everything I am doing is really the same but I think I'm doing it better, what are the chances I'm just telling myself that? In my case they are high. That is also the case with many of the clients I have worked with over the last 18 years.

The solution to my stuckness is at least two part. Firat I become aware that I am stuck, and second that I change the way I do some thing or things. Then I need to observe the results. And if I can identify what's different and how it's not better but different, then I'm on the road.

But even that's not all. What's different needs to be judged as well. Is it different better, or different worse or different different? When I make that determination, then I can take a look at what's next. Is it more of the ame, less of the same or just stay the course for now. With my eyes and ears wide open.

This is another ideal situation in which a coach is ones best ally. The coach will hold your objectives when you lose sight ot forget. And your coach will be able to tell you when what you're doing is different instead of better.

Hire a coach and change the quality of your life. We at Paeon, are here to be your ally on the journey.

773-817-6700